"Cries from the Psalms" (When I'm Absolutely Desperate for God, At My Wit's End)

Hear me when I call,

Lift up the light of Your countenance upon me,

Heal my spirit, God,

For my soul is greatly troubled;

Lord, how long?

Save me for Your mercies’ sake, for in death there is no remembrance of You.

In the grave how can I give You thanks?

I am weary with my groaning, and my eye wastes away because of grief,

Hear the rending and hidden weeping -- unspoken and silent -- and come quickly,

Why do you stand afar off?

They make their arrow ready on the string,

And it finds its path in the deep night -- striking in secret, unseen and unheard,

Lord, please come quickly,

What can I do?

All the words of my spirit have flown, as doves they have fallen, never finding their branch, and they return as ravens to tear,

How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?

O my soul, you have said to the Lord, “You are my Lord, my goodness is nothing apart from You.”

But when my heart fails me in the night seasons, where can I go?

If only I could fly upon the wings of the wind and make darkness my secret place -- the dark waters and thick clouds of the skies,

Lord, will you rescue me?

Will you draw me out of many waters?

Remove my heart (may it be gone forever),

Remove the light of my eyes from this earth (and place the fire of Your eyes in its place),

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me hear joy and gladness (for that joy has long fled from me; it turns away),

Make me hear my thoughts no longer; place my ear upon the bottom of the sea, upon the ribcage of the secret place, until I hear You breathe,

That the bones You have broken may rejoice.